I was an 8-year-old childhood college student. Well, I was not enrolled, but my mom was.
Mom wanted to accelerate her degree. During summer school, she needed a way for me to feel like I had a summer, so rather than hiring a nanny, she figured out how to keep me near her while she was on campus. The University had an Olympic-sized outdoor swimming pool. She knew some of the lifeguards, so she had them keep an eye on me.
I was not much of a problem, as I was happy in the water. I had been taking lessons since I was four, and my brothers even taught me how to use a mask, fins, and snorkel. I loved to swim. Often throwing a PENNY and free diving for it. I was easily entertained, and college students were notorious for losing things while flirting and cavorting with each other in the pool. Sometimes I could work a deal for enough change to buy a bag of chips and a soda from the vending machines, by negotiating with them to retrieve lost bracelets, necklaces and earrings.
On Saturdays, I could invite my friends to go to the pool with me. We were all impressed with a very muscular man that frequented the pool. Sometimes he was a lifeguard, sometimes he was the pool cleaner, sometimes he was just a guy working on his tan.
Mom said he was a professional student. He also taught physical education, kinematics, and math.
My friend thought he looked like Captain America, so that name stuck. He didn’t seem to mind…
Captain was a nice guy, and me and my two best friends were in awe of him. We asked him all sorts of questions…
“Do you have superpowers?”
“How did you get all those muscles?”
“Have you been on TV, like the Incredible Hulk?”
“Are you friends with Aqua man.”
He as always friendly and answered our questions.
“No, I do not have superpowers.”
“I work out. I swim, and pump iron for four hours a day, six days a week.”
“I have been in a student film; it was not very good. We had no budget.”
“I know a real live person that reminds me of Aqua man, but Aqua man is fiction.”
One day he said it was time to pump iron, so I followed him. It looked like a classroom turned into a weight room, and it was located just behind the receptionist desk, near the Instructors’ offices.
He walked in and shut the door. I tried to turn the knob and go in, but it would not open. It was magnetically locked.
“You can’t go in there”, said the receptionist, “And you need to dry off before you come in here anyway. This is a professional building.”
“Okay.” I took the towel off my shoulders and dried the water spots as I retreated toward the door. “Sorry…”
…
The next day, I saw him at the pool. I hadn’t removed my T Shirt yet, hoping that if I was dry, they would let me in…
“I looked in the window of the weight room… I want to look like Captain America too. Can I go in if I am your guest?”
“I don’t know. That is serious stuff. You can get really hurt if you don’t know what you are doing.”
He must have had a soft spot for people wanting to learn about fitness. He studied my seriousness for a few seconds, and said, “Let’s go find out…”
He put his hand on my shoulder, walked me past the receptionist, “He is my guest.”
Without a word or even a bob of her head, she buzzed us in.
…
He taught me proper gym etiquette, wiping down equipment before and after. Next, he showed me two free weight exercises with some light dumbbells.
“Welcome to gym 101. We will start with Biceps.” He flexed his, then demonstrated the method, “You can only grow by feeling the burn… do as many curls as you can until you cannot hold the weight any longer. Then rest. Then do it two more times. You want to feel the burn, not pain. Pain is when your body is injured. Use the burn, working your muscle to failure, this will teach it to grow. Next week, you will be able to do more. You may even notice your arm feels stronger, and after only the first week, it may look stronger. That is the fun part.”
I did what he said. My arms were sore the next day, but I was not in pain. I liked it… I was convinced my muscles were already growing… I knew I was on my way to being just like The Captain.
Sometimes I did not see him for a week, or more. I think the longest was two weeks, and that happened right after that day of ‘Gym 101’.
I was swimming more now, working on exercising my chest, arms and legs by swimming with good form until my muscles burned. After a long swim I hung into the edge of the pool and pushed my mask and snorkel up to my forehead.
He was sitting on the edge of the pool with his feet in the water.
I saluted, “Captain!”
He saluted back, “Howdy partner!”
I pulled myself up and sat next to him with my feet in the water, and said, “Long time no see. Where have you been?”
He said he was just busy with finals, researching a for a paper, being a teacher, a manager, a student, and a Body Builder, with a very tight schedule. He only allowed himself one evening out once a week when his girl was in town.
“Wow.” I said, “Don’t you watch TV?”
“Not much.” He said, “But I like ‘Welcome Back Cotter’ and occasionally, I get to watch it.”
“Wow.”, I said, “All work and no play?”
Captain, “When you love what you do, you never really feel like it is work.”
Me, “I have been swimming a lot… going for the burn… see my muscles?” I FLEXED just like I had seen him do when he was showing off his shoulders, and chest…”.
He smiled and said, “Pretty good! It is working… you could even embarrass some of my students… ha-ha.”
I squinted, “I Want to do some more work in the gym, but without you, they won’t let me in.”
He said, “I am not always around, and even when I am, I may not have the time. Ask your mom for a weight set your size. If she says it is okay, have her talk to me, and I will make sure you get a good one.”
He stood, and looked down at me, “In the meantime, Keep swimming. I already believe in you, Aqua Man.”
I posed as I thought a superhero would, breathing in, flexing my muscles, pushing my chest forward, “Thanks, Captain America!”
…
I Asked mom that afternoon about getting my own weights.
I didn’t see Captain that week, but the next Saturday, a bench and a barbell, and two dumbbells were on my back patio.
“She must have talked to him.”, I thought.
“THANKS MOM!”
Mom, came out to the patio, “Huh… where’d that come from?”
…
Summer school was over, and I guess the weight bench came at just the right time, because I didn’t go to the campus with mom… it was just—over.
So, I still had my bike, and my patio had just become a mini gym. My friends were allowed over, and I taught them Gym 101. We worked out every Saturday for a while, and I would work out a few times a week by myself.
I picked up a book on weight training at the library, and learned more on my own, but it wasn’t the same…
Aqua Man didn’t have a pool…
School was okay, but I thought Mom’s Campus was better… at least they had a pool.
By Christmas. It was too cold to use the patio… I drifted away from working out as much, shifting my focus to playing with my new toys, and watching Star Trek on TV. Funny… I remember pieces of the third Grade, but nothing stands out too much… just school.
Until Summer came again. Mom again enrolled in summer classes, and I was going to get to go back to college!
My first day back to campus, The Captain did come out to the pool after I did a bit of swimming. When I noticed him, he was working on his tan and doing some stretches with a towel. “Howdy Captain”, I said. He didn’t seem to hear me, so I climbed out of the pool, and walked toward him. “Howdy.” I said again.
He finally heard me, but only nodded my direction.
“Captain? You okay? Remember me.”
“Yes, I remember you. You were doing so well! WHAT happened to you?” He pinched at a bulge that had developed on my sides and He looked disappointed.
“It got too cold for weights, and I kind of got out of the habit. I only come to the pool with my mom when she is in summer classes, but I am back now, and swimming again. She says it is time for me to shed the winter coat.”
He laughed, “Winter coat? I never heard of it.”
Me, “Yeah… I should have started with the weights again sooner.,.”
Captain, “Yeah. You should have brought them inside. Set them up in your room…, use them all year… I suppose you didn’t think of that?”
He turned and walked to get a bottle of water, and took a big drink, then shook his head, “Winter COAT! He-he ha-ha.”
I didn’t like the idea of disappointing him, but he was right… I don’t know why I didn’t bring the weights inside… “Yeah, lame excuse, huh?”
He studied my face, “Well, fitness isn’t something you only do in fair weather…. fitness is a priority…. you must make time for it every day of the year… do something—sit-ups, pushups— you can do them anywhere, almost any time. Your mom is right, you can get rid of the winter coat, but don’t put it on again next year. It will be harder to get rid of each time. Stay fit and strong, all year from now on.”
He gathered his towel and water bottle. “Time for my third hour in the gym today…”
I walked with him, “Did you put that bench on my patio?”
“Yes.”
“Did you talk to my mom about it?”
“No… I gave you a set a student sold me for next to nothing… my gift to you.”
“Thank you. The bench has a loose weld on the frame… can you fix that?”
He looked at me again, almost in disbelief, “Yeah… I can weld it… I will stop by when I have the time.” We stopped at the entrance to the hall where the weight room and office area was. “You can’t come in here… I will see you soon.”
“Okay.”
He opened the door and slipped in, letting it close behind him without looking back.
…
The next Saturday, Mom went to the library, and I went to the patio and started my weight training again. Avoiding bench work because the weld that was broken supported the back board and It bent downwards when I put weight on it. I didn’t want to make things worse. A truck pulled up out front and The Captain unloaded a portable welder.
He helped himself in by reaching over the gate and lifting the clasp, “Show me the problem.”
“Right here… “.
“Easy fix.” He said. He held out a second welding helmet. “Here, put this on.”
He turned over the bench, put his helmet on, dropped the visor, so I did the same. I watched the rod melt into the surrounding metal.
He stood, raised his visor, turned off the welder.
The board was smoking near the welded area.
He picked up the bench, turned it upright.
“Try it out.”
I watched, to make sure the board stopped smoking. “All ready?”
“Try it.”
So, I laid on it… wiggled a bit, and pushed the bar up for 12 reps at 25 lbs. “Yep.”
He nodded, “Tell Me about your workout plan.”
I told him what I learned from my library book and added, “And from now on, all year long.”
He nodded again. “Sounds good. You already look better. Amazing how fast your muscles come back, huh? It is called muscle memory… your swimming muscles will come back quickly… but whatever gains you make; you will need to maintain the rest of your life. No winter breaks.”
“How did you know where I live?”
He looked up, “I have access to student records… I looked it up as easy as looking up a phone number.”
“Just wondering, Mom didn’t know where the weights came from.”
He nodded and grinned, “I bet she could guess.”
Me, “Yeah… what is your name.”
Captain, “I am David after the Greek Statue, and sometimes, Captain America!”
“What is your real name.”
Captain, “You couldn’t pronounce it.”
Me, “You are weird.”
Captain, “That isn’t nice to call people names.”
Me, “I will ask my mom.”
Him, “Arnold.”
Me, “Fine, I will just call you Captain. Until I ask my mom…”
He stood, grabbed the handle on top of the welder. “I think it will hold. Let me know if it doesn’t hold.”
He let himself out, and put the stuff in his truck, and turned back to say, “I won’t be around next week, keep swimming, keep lifting… See you at the pool when I get back. I want to see those muscles growing.”
…
“I found out where the weight set came from.”
Mom, “Oh?”
“Yeah, the fitness instructor that hangs out at the pool. Nice guy, but a little strange.”
Mom, “I figured it was something like that.”
Me, “What is his name?”
Mom, “I don’t know him, really, just that he is a fitness instructor and I heard he was a professional student… he teaches classes but is still working on his advanced degree.”
Me, “He knows who you are, and he knew how to find the house by looking up student records. He acted like you could have guessed where the weight set came from.”
Mom, “Oh, that guy with all the muscles? I have seen him… But I don’t know him… Strange how? “
Me, “I asked him his name and he gave me a bunch of different ones… So, I don’t know his name.”
Mom, “I will find out.”
….
Mom went with me to the pool. She picked out a nice lounge chair under an umbrella and opened a book.
I played in the water as usual and enjoyed it.
Later I heard her call to me, and she waved me to come over. She was standing next to a fit male lifeguard. “Is this the guy you were telling me about?”
“No. He said he wouldn’t be around this week… but this guy knows him I bet.” I turned to him, “What is the name of that super muscles guy that works out all the time?”
Lifeguard, “I don’t remember seeing anyone like that here.”
Mom, “So did you talk to anyone else?”
Me, “The lady at the desk buzzed us into the weight room…”
Mom, “Take me there.”
I grabbed my towel, dried off as well as I could, put on my socks and shoes and shirt.
I led her to the door to the hall, and we went in. The same lady was sitting at the desk.
I told her my mom wanted to see the weight room.
Receptionist, “What weight room?”
I walked around and pointed to the door, “That one,”
Receptionist, “To my knowledge that room has been vacant since the building was built…”
I walked up to the window in the door and it was dark. I turned the knob and it opened, flipped the light switch, and could see a pristine waxed tile floor… unscarred walls… it WAS as if the room had never been used.
“Don’t you remember the muscle guy, and me, and he said I was his guest? You buzzed him in with that button on your desk…”
Receptionist, “I never had a button… I would remember that.”
Me, “Last summer… you buzzed us in…”
Receptionist, “I am certain I did not… the only weight room here is in the student lounge, and that is in another building.”
Me, “No, it was this desk, this hall, and that room…”
Mom, “Let’s go… “
We walked out, and Mom asked, “WAS THERE ANYONE ELSE that saw him?”
Me, “Yeah, my friends. Last summer, Craig named him Captain America… I always called him that…”
….
Mom looked confused. “The fitness instructor, is an older gentleman, and the lifeguard was the only muscular one I knew of… he is who I thought… never mind… You said he will be back next week?”
I nodded, “And you know the weight bench came from somewhere… he even came to the patio last weekend to weld the bench… I can show you the burn mark… you hafta believe me.”
Mom, “I do, I am just doing gum shoe mom detective work… I can tell it is important to you, and I think I should be introduced, that is all…”
Me, “Okay., but this is weird… I can’t believe the weight room is gone… I am sure it was there…”
Mom put her hand on my shoulder, “Let’s get some lunch… don’t worry, I am sure we can figure it out together.”
Mom walked with me to the Student Lounge and Cafeteria.
I had Sub sandwich, she had yogurt.
“Any of this look familiar?”
“No,” I said, still chewing the last bite…
“Any of the people look familiar.”
I scanned the room with my eyes, swallowed, and said, “No, but that isn’t saying much, I usually have my head in the water…”
Mom smiled, “Next stop, the weight room.”
We walked across the blue carpet to the opposite hall. There were Signs shaped like arrows, Fitness Center, Weight Room, Lockers.
We stopped in front of a large plate glass window with crossed wires inside.
On the other side of that, I could see row after row of fitness equipment, and several weights, benches… A lady folding white towels, and an aerobics class… people moving from one machine to another, working out…
Mom waited for me to take it all in.
Me, “Wow! This is big…”
Mom, “So, this was here last year… I do not think there would have been any reason for a classroom to be used as a weight room if the students could use this one…”
Me, “You are right, but I saw what I saw….”
Mom, “Interesting. I will do some more checking.”
Me, “You must think I’m crazy.”
Mom, “Nope. Could be anything, but I doubt you are crazy. Possibly you dreamed it, or maybe the classroom was a weight room for some special purpose… or maybe something else.”
She shrugged. “You Do well at science and math. Maybe Someday, all this will be yours for a few years… would you like to have access to all this someday?”
Mom was always good at shifting the topic when she wanted, and I knew she was leading me away from stress toward an Image of a bright future and planting an educational seed. I decided to let her lead me where she wanted, so I replied,
“Yes, that would be cool.”
Mom, “Come on, we will go home, and you can use your bench in the meantime…”
…
So, I worked out, and swam, pondering things over in my mind.,
“I am not crazy. I KNOW there was a weight room… and when Captain gets back, I will have him explain everything. He is helping me… he hasn’t hurt me in the least… I trust his instruction., he obviously knows what works and fitness is important to him. I should have worked out all winter… I won’t get flabby again… His presence in my life is important to me…, but WHO IS HE?”
I read magazines at the local 5 n Dime. It was a mile or less away on my bike, and I could read, and learn… and go home and lift, and eat better…, I used my allowance to buy some protein powder, and bought tuna and salmon at the grocer across the street. Mom left me ample lunch money while she was away to study. I grilled Salmon, tuna, and hamburgers on the new gas grill. (Mom had hired installers to put it in a permanent gas grill at the end of the patio and attached it to the house gas main…. I was set!)
Weeks went by, without seeing him, then one day, He was talking to a pretty lady at the entrance gate to the pool. He was wearing a white tunic, and black jeans, and cowboy boots. She was wearing a sparkly blue fitted blouse with silver vertical stripes, and a skirt. Her black shoulder length hair was tossed by a gust of wind, exposing a white hoop dangling from her right ear. They seemed to be having a pleasant, flirty discussion. She kissed him on the lips, and caressed his cheek, then waved as she turned to leave through the gate.
…
Captain went in the Hall and returned about 10 minutes later with a water bottle and a towel. He was wearing his shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops… he selected an empty lounge chair, rested back with his hands behind his head, looking around, smiling at people, making comments to some, “Nice day!” “Life is good!” “Looking good.”
Obviously, he was no stranger… I walked to the male lifeguard, pointed toward The Captain, “That’s the guy…”
I walked around the pool to be next to Captain, sat on the lounge chair opposite him, “You need to be introduced to my Mom.”
He lowered his sunglasses so he could make his eye contact obvious, “Okay… what for?”
Me, “She just wants to thank you for the weight bench and be introduced you know, gumshoe mom detective work.”
Him, “Okay, where is she?”
In class right now, she gets the car and has me meet her out front at twelve, just a few minutes from now. Come out with me.”
Him, “Okay.”
I finished drying my swim shorts and put my cut offs on over them and then my shirt and shoes… “Come on.”
Just then one of the people at the pool approached him, “I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.”
Him, “Can it wait, I have an appointment…”
Another approached, “I need to talk to you…”
He turned to me, “I am sorry duty calls… tell your mom I will talk to her tomorrow, get here 10 minutes early so she can do that, Okay?”
Me, “Fine…”
I got in our car, and mom started pulling away. I said, “We need to get here early tomorrow so you can meet him.”
Mom, “I won’t be here tomorrow, I have a Doctor’s Appointment.
“Fine…”
Mom, “Didn’t you talk to him?”
Me, “Yeah, and. Pointed him out to the lifeguard… he knows people… they kept him, or you would have met him just now…”
Mom, “Alright… well… I will write him a note… make sure he gets it next time you see him, okay?”
“Okay.”
…
Two days later, I handed him a sealed envelope, addressed to “To whom it my concern.”
He took it into the hall, and I didn’t see him at the pool after that. In fact, he was nowhere to be seen or heard from around campus. I WOULD ASK ABOUT HIM to the receptionist, the lifeguards, and people that I thought would know him.
Male Lifeguard, “I saw you point over there, but I wasn’t sure who you were talking about… you went and sat in the lounge chair over there, and it looked like you were talking to someone, but I don’t know who you were talking to.
Receptionist, “I know everybody that works in this Hall, and I have never seen the man you describe, all the office people in here are older, and not in the best shape… and I am sure there was never a weight room here.”
Me, “I give up… maybe I am crazy…”
Receptionist, “I think you should talk to somebody.., tell your Mom everything and she can decide if you should talk to someone… here is a card of a good counsellor… give your mom this, and I am out of this now, okay?”
Me, “Fine…”
No matter who I talked to, I was met with the same confusion.
Even my friend that named him said, “We were just playing, and pretending… At least, I thought you were pretending, so I played along to see where it would go. I AM a BIG fan of Captain America, so that is what I decided to pretend about… Then we went and did some cannonballs… if there was a guy with big muscles, I don’t remember him…”
So, I threw the card in the trash, and decide not to talk about it anymore.
…
Some time went by, and it was getting cold out, I arranged my bedroom so I could bring the weights inside. There was just enough room for the bench and barbell by my bed. The end of the bench almost touched the side of my bed, and the barbells had a few inches of clearance from the wall when they sat on the rack, “That will do.”, I said, talking to myself.
SO, I worked out in my bedroom during the cold months… and did sit-ups, pushups, and jumping jacks instead of swimming. I was outgrowing the weights… I felt I wasn’t going to make any more gains in muscle mass unless I asked Mom for some extra 10lb plates. the next day, there were two more weights on the bar. That was more of a challenge than I expected, but I was sure it was going to result in me becoming more like the Captain.
I worked out every day, 7 days a week. I was growing… and I was feeling strong., one day, I took off my shirt and surprised mom with some muscle poses… she seemed shocked.
Mom, “Woah., turn around, let me see your back”
She ran her hands across my shoulders, between my shoulder blades, had me flex them… “GOD… this isn’t normal!”
“What?”
Mom, “Stop working out right now… I need to take you into the doctor. he may need to do some tests…”
Me, “What’s wrong?”
her, “I see something… I don’t know what to make of it…”
Me, “Muscles… Mom!”
Mom, “Just trust me Okay?”
…
The doctor reviewed everything I was doing. He seemed curious as to why I would do what I was doing. So, I told him about the body building magazines, and the books. The protein powder was of particular interest to him.
He had me come back the next day with my can of Powder… he reviewed the ingredients… how often I used it, etc. I explained my diet, and habits, and his comments were, “There are things I never heard of in medical science on this label, and the ones I have heard of seem misused. It probably won’t hurt you, but it is debatable if you are getting your money’s worth. Your Mom is trying to finish school and wants you to eat well, and the diet is good… you are better off with the salmon, hamburgers and tuna, You eat better than I do already… throw out the powder… Eat a peanut butter sandwich. It will do as much good,”
Me, “What’s wrong with my back?”
Doctor, “You have sun damage from not using sunscreen, and now that you are out of the sun for the colder months, and sweating a lot, you have a fungal infection. Easily treated with an ointment, and you will need to take better care of your skin.”
Me, “Oh good, I was worried my muscles were ugly.”
Doc, “You are in good shape. Keep exercising and eat healthy organic food. Throw the powder away…”
When I got home, the weight bench was gone.
“Mom, what happened to the bench?”
Mom, “I don’t think you will be needing it for a while.”
Me, “Why.”
Mom, “Because, you are way overboard… I can’t believe the stuff I am seeing and hearing… you have been spending time reading through muscle magazines, loitering at the 5 n Dime, buying protein powder instead of real food… you are obsessed with the weights and your grades dropped, and you sweat so much you gave yourself a fungus… You need a break from this… you need a better balance… so the bench is gone until you convince me that you have found that balance.”
Me, “You are overreacting.”
Mom, “No, you are obsessed… I Know about your imaginary friend, I talked to the lifeguard, the receptionist, and your friends, they all seem to think you have an imaginary friend who is a role model. You can’t ever be Captain America. He is a comic book! An exaggerated, impossible made up cartoon hero.”
Me, “Wow, the shit hit the fan… that is for sure…”
Mom, “You can watch your language. You are grounded, and I will be buying all the groceries from now on. You are cut off.”
Me, “Fine.”
I was devastated… my friends, my mom, everyone, thought I was crazy.
I just knew I was labeled as crazy for sure now…
So, I sat on my bed, and rationalized it all as best I could,
“That damn Captain… if others couldn’t remember him, and nobody really did seem to know him… except me, then I must have made it up… but it Was SO REAL.
Nothing to do but accept it was all in my head… if I wanted my life back… I had to turn away from the Captain, and my aspiration to be like him… after all he is just a cartoon character. “
Nobody seemed to know where the weight bench came from…
So that is one element of reality that existed, but that is about it.
Nobody claimed responsibilities for the bench arriving, EXCEPT the Captain (Who apparently did not exist).
That is the part the gets me.
This sequence of events never left my mind… eventually, when I did see a couple of psychologists’ I walked them through this story and asked if it meant I was crazy…
They saw nothing too alarming in my stories. They just thought I was likely manifesting things because I was highly intelligent and bored. They suggested that their job was to help me live a normal life and I met the check list for that.
“Got an education, check, good job, check, a house, check, car, check, health, check… not much to worry about.”
…
So, my brother read my story and wrote me…
“Hi brother,
Cool writing. It’s an interesting story.
I can’t tell if you are just writing, or if you are really working on your childhood memories.
My memories from near the time you were around 8 include me buying a weight bench from a garage sale. At 8 you probably did wonder where the weights came from.
My friend’s Dad was studying welding at the local college. We went down and watched him weld. Maybe that’s the source of your welding memory. There was another time that dad needed something welded, but I can’t remember what. I think he took us with him to a welder somewhere and we watched through visors as the job was done. I’m sure it would make a big impression on a young child so there were all these events in your life except for Capt.”
…
So, this delusion is mostly concluded, but I still have dreams about him. He is kind of like an Obi Wan— Here, but not really here… lol. Kind of a guide. My Jiminy Cricket…
And a hero.
As real as any superhero could be…
Keniverse 